Oh my gosh! Tis Saturday already. And I didn't post the Friday Funnies... What can I say? I was enjoying the evening with Mr. Anonymous. And that my dear friends, take precedence over most everything! Yesh I know, I'm besotted... It was a most loverly evening, too. Plus we have to take advantage of the ability to spend our time together now as he will be gone for a two week period soon. Oh, I'll be lonely for sure. But that's what phones and IM are for. I'll deal with it.
So... once again, I've left it to the next day to post a wee bit of laughter to brighten the minds of those who read. It's not like you are going to be laughing out loud when the words from the newspapers and online news sites are read, now is it?
Susan has added to my chuckles this morning. It appears a few of my friends have been on a highly secretive mission whose blogging buddies aren't all admitting to their escapades... But I've heard it from a very good source that all will be revealed in due time. I love those insider tips...
Now on to the silliness. O'wise One, VS and Moni are still adding to the listings to which I may or may not add here. I know they love to say "I sent her that one."
The Difference Between a Grandpa and a Grandma
A friend, who worked away from home all week, always
made a special effort with his family on the weekends.
Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old
granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time.
Just he and his granddaughter.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and
really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue
and said that she would take their granddaughter out.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran
upstairs to see her grandfather. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with
"Oh yes, PaPa" the girl replied, "and do you know what?
We didn't see a single dumb bastard or lousy shit head anywhere we
Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it?
A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a whole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country.
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion.
Apparently your pecker gets harder when you're away from home...
First Class Fooling...
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a game. The blonde, who's tired and just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and says the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention; and figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "it's your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs but comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references--no answer. He taps into the airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress--no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde says "Thank you" and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
And so it goes......