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Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Funnies...

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
~~~~~Dr. Seuss


Tis that time of the week again, Friday.
Oh fabulous Friday... The last day of the work week.
But today was a special day. Or so they say. Friday the 13th. I'm not superstitious enough to believe that it's a bad luck day. I woke up again this morning. That in itself makes it a good luck day for me.

Yesterday should have been my bad luck day. My need for speed got me caught. Not fast enough to warrant a trip to the jail cell. But I was speedily issued a cordial invitation to the courts. As my kids are wont to say... Leadfoot Lynnie strikes again.

Tis also the day I post a few jokes to bring a small smile and maybe a little chuckle or two to those who read. Smiles, did you know that they're contagious? Yup, they are. Irresistible really. Try it sometime. Pick someone randomly, Smile real big, then see if they don't smile back. Told ya so...
~~~~~

The Husband Store...

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: "Floor 1 - These men have jobs." The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: "Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids." The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: "Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm, better." she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: "Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and help with the housework." "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: "Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me! But just think what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: "Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please."
~~~~~



Newest Bumper Sticker...

It's time to replace your "W" sticker.

That administration is over.

The election is over.

Get past it.

Get used to the idea of a new president and the new administration!!

Here's the bumper sticker you'll need for at least 4 years.


~~~~~


The Old Biker...


A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar, which reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HAND JOB: $
100.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'can I help you?'

'I was wondering,' whispers the old biker, 'are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs? ''Yes", she smiles and purrs, "I sure am".

The old biker replies, 'Well wash your hands real good cause I want a cheeseburger.







And so it goes......

2 comments:

AirmanMom said...

ky...these are great! Have a good weekend!

~AM

Ky Woman said...

AM,

Thanks! Hope you have a great weekend as well...
;)