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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Something To Make You Smile...

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
~~~~~A.A. Milne

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5
and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer
runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please
enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour
7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs
a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt
to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported
applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly. You might consider buying additional software to
improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0
and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support
~~~~~


True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.
~~~~~Dave Tyson Gentry


Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Tuesday 02-26-2008 3:25am ET
Dear Walter :

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34 , and we have been married for twelve years.When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Anne

Dear Anne:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

-Walter
~~~~~

Please don't take these little snips to be derogatory views of marriage.... I was married once. For quite some time.

Then....

Never mind, it no longer matters.

I guess I started thinking about marriages, the good and the bad, during a email conversation I had today. And I'm reminded of "hope springs eternal."

Yep, even I have hope, wishes, and desires for a happy marriage. One of these days...

Right now, these are my reasons for being single. And my reasons for being able to blog during the day. Blessings they are one and all!



I could hardly believe that I got all three of them down for a nap 'all at the same time'!


Wooo Hooo!





And so it goes......

2 comments:

dana said...

looks like they played hard.

Ky Woman said...

Sissy,

Too bad I couldn't take a picture of me sleeping, cause I was wore plumb out!