Friday, August 29, 2008

Friday Funnies...(Late Again)

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy?
~~~~~Leslie Caron

Just sharing a funny

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann:

"Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifest itself in your daughter's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce:

"Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner."


Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy,
'Son, how old are you?'
Eight,' the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.'

'We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one.'


One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.
On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.

I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.

On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the best of me and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.

'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?' '

Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, they're having a yard sale.'


And so it goes......


Kate said...

Hi there, Gosh you cheered me up this morning - Thanks ! Love from Scotland and me too...

Grandma Faith said...

I always get a kick out of your funny stories. I can't wait to tell my retired friends the one about the six ladies on the lawn.

Kate said...

Hi There, Could you call at my site to collect a wee pressie.

Cheers Kate xxx.