Thursday, May 7, 2009

Friday Funnies...

Flirtation: attention without intention.
~~~~~Max O'Rell

Yikes! 'Tis been a few weeks without the funnies to lighten the load of all the drama going on in the world. So much that there are days that I'd like to not so much take a look at what all is happening. But then again, I can't stop myself.

So without further adieu...

Jesse, John, and Al...

L.A. Times headlines

"South Los Angeles four-plex destroyed by a fire " .

A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all
six died in the fire.

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country
from Kenya, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in
the fire.

Six LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons lived on the 3rd floor and they
too, died.

One white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.

Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew
into LA, met with the fire chief, on camera.

They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims, and
Hispanics all died in the fire and only the white couple lived.

The fire chief said, "Simple--- they were away .... at work."

First Job...

Here's a truly heart warming story about the bond formed between a little
5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that
we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the
goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough' more or less,
adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee
and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed
and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction crew
building the new house next door to us.'

'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the
house again this week, too'

The little girl replied, 'I will, if those a-holes at Home Depot ever get around
to delivering the f***in’ drywall...'

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

Best Interview on Radio...

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of
the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between
a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching

I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they
even touch a firearm.

But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went momentarily silent and the interview ended.

And so it goes......

1 comment:

Earl said...

Thank you and General Cosgrove, I have been ambushed!